🫡 Why I’m Weirdly Nostalgic for 'Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell'🫡

QUEER WORD
DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL (DADT)

What it means:

A U.S. military policy in place from 1993 to 2011 that barred openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual people from serving, while, somewhat paradoxically, prohibiting discrimination against closeted service members.

Let’s use it in a sentence:

Barry had spent so much time serving under Don't Ask, Don't Tell that he still referred to his husband as his 'roommate' out of habit.

A little bit of history:

When I was younger I never fully understood why Don't Ask, Don't Tell was hailed as such a success.

I mean, I got that it meant soldiers would no longer be persecuted outright. But there’s something deeply unsettling to me about celebrating a policy that essentially says: "hey, we’d love it if you risked your life defending our country, but can you also promise to keep a fundamental part of your identity locked away whilst you’re doing it?"

It felt less like liberation and more like a bureaucratically sanctioned straightjacket (straightjacket - see what I did there?).

Yet, as I sit here reading article after article about Trump’s plans to implement transgender military service bans, I find myself experiencing a strange nostalgia for those heady 1990s days.

At least then, despite the rather glaring flaws in the aforementioned policy, it felt like we were moving forward rather than sliding backward.

Progress, however clunky, is still progress.

Not being an American myself, I've only ever observed all this from a distance, so digging some more in to the history was a fascinating (and infuriating) addition to my queer history knowledge.

So, in no particular order, here are six facts about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell that rarely make it into the popular narrative:

1️⃣ The military had banned homosexuality long before DADT.

Before Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, an outright ban had been in place since World War II, with the claim being that homosexuality would negatively impact ‘unit cohesion, morale, and privacy.’ Whatever that means.

2️⃣ Upholding the ban was ridiculously expensive.

By 1990, enforcing the military’s anti-gay policy was costing the U.S. an eye-watering $27 million annually, just in recruitment and training costs to replace discharged service members. And, no, that’s not a typo - $27 million!

3️⃣ Bill Clinton originally wanted to overturn the ban entirely.

Just before President Clinton took office, he announced plans to allow openly gay people to serve. After significant political pushback, and much behind-the-scenes wrangling, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was introduced as a ‘compromise.’

4️⃣ The full name of the policy was longer (and somehow worse).

The full title of the clause expanded is Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Harass, Don't Pursue. I guess it wasn’t snappy sounding enough, and that’s why they almost always went with the shortened Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

5️⃣ DADT didn’t actually stop investigations into sexuality.

This is the one that really grinds my gears - contrary to popular belief, the military could still investigate a service member’s sexuality under DADT—it just required that there be ‘credible’ evidence of homosexual behaviour, or of ‘intended’ homosexual behaviour, before an investigation could be launched (which was still better than the previous policy, where service people could be outright asked if they were gay).

6️⃣ By the time it was repealed, over 13,000 service members had been discharged under the DADT policy.

That’s 13,000 people who lost their careers because they refused to hide who they were - not to mention the countless others whose potential was stifled by the fear of being ‘caught’ and made an example of.

Progress Came — But The Fight Continues…

Researching this piece made my blood boil, trawling through the nonsensical and blatantly queerphobic justifications for banning LGBTQ+ people from serving. But it’s important to hold on to the fact that change did eventually come, thanks to activists who refused to stay silent and military leaders who finally recognised that integrity shouldn’t come with such stupid conditions.

And, surprise surprise, the military didn’t fall apart when DADT was repealed. Who’dve thought?

Unfortunately, the fight carries on for our transgender siblings, who have been stuck in a cruel game of political ping-pong, never knowing from one administration to the next whether they’ll be allowed to serve their country openly.

I’m one of those impatient people who wants change yesterday, but I’m trying to remind myself that history moves forward—even if it can be frustratingly slow.

Among all the bad-faith arguments and bigoted rhetoric, I found this gem from President Obama, who signed the repeal into law, that’s helping me to keep the faith:

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

QUEER JOY
News from around the web...

👭 One of the first lesbian sex scenes captured on film (from all the way back in 1968) has just been restored

🤳 Feeling a bit unsafe online now that Meta has rolled back its moderation? Well, you might find value in the free Coping With Hate Speech course on offer from mental health app Voda.

🇹🇭 Whilst some countries are sliding backwards on queer rights (*cough* USA, UK), others are taking strides forward - during its budget planning for 2025, the National Health Security Board of Thailand approved 145.63 million baht (over €4 million) to provide health services, including hormone therapy, for trans citizens.

🏫 The Stonewall Inn, birthplace of the modern LGBTQIA+ rights movement, might be getting its own lego set (but you have to vote to make it a reality!).

🇮🇸 Planning your next holiday? Well, you might want to add Reykjavik to your shortlist, as it’s just been ranked the top queer-friendly capital in the world!

🇬🇧 According to the Office of National Statistics, the number of young people in the UK identifying as lesbian, gay or bisexual doubles in 5 years.

QUEER THOUGHTS
Last week’s poll

Last week, I asked if you use algospeak online, and here’s what you had to say!

It seems like one of those frustrating realities we’ve just learned to live with. But I had a great chat with one reader, J, who made a fascinating connection—algospeak and Polari both emerged as ways to dodge detection!

Just one more reminder that queer people have always been masters of adaptation and cunning linguists!