🐠 why won’t the word ‘fishy’ go away? 🐠

QUEER WORD
FISHY

What It Means:

A term used to describe someone who looks exceptionally feminine, typically in a hyper-realised or completely exaggerated way. While it’s often used as a compliment, the term’s origin is problematic, as it links the idea of femininity to the supposed fish-like smell of a cis woman’s vagina.

Let’s Use It In A Sentence:

“I’m looking totally fishy today, darling!” Tanya said, admiring her reflection in the mirror, while her friends awkwardly glanced at each other, trying to figure out whether to challenge her or just let it slide.

A Little Bit Of History:

Let’s start with our usual disclaimer about queer language: because so much of queer culture and language has been historically underreported, we can’t say for sure when most of our language first appeared. And fishy is certainly no exception.

That said, we do know the term dates back at least to the ‘60s, when American gay male communities began using it to describe female bodies. However, it wasn’t quite used in the same way it is today.

The Queen’s Vernacular, a gay slang dictionary from the early ‘70s, gives us some of the first recorded uses:

From there, it seems to have faded out of fashion, only to be revived and repurposed in drag and ballroom culture of the ‘80s. In this setting, fishy became a positive term, used to describe queens and trans women who embodied ‘realness’ by appearing ‘convincingly’ female. Calling a performer fish or fishy meant she looked so feminine that ‘you could smell her’, flipping what was once an insult into an insider compliment. This usage spread across drag communities and is now the most widely understood definition of the term.

And while both uses of the term are problematic, they come from vastly different places. One celebrates femininity, while the other undermines it (or, at best, dismisses it).

But, Wait, Wait, Let’s Back Up - Why Exactly Is The Term Problematic?

Ok, so if you haven’t quite joined the dots just yet (and, honestly, if you’re one of those people who has spent exactly zero time in your life thinking about female anatomy then I totally understand why this might all be going over your head), here’s the issue: fishy explicitly links femininity - or ‘real’ womanhood (whatever that means) - to the idea that female genitalia supposedly have a foul, fish-like smell.

This framing manages to be both reductive and exclusionary. It suggests that to be a ‘real’ woman (again, whatever that means), you have to have a vagina - essentially invalidating the experiences of trans women and anyone who doesn’t fit this narrow definition. And, then, just to twist the knife, it insults that very trait.

So Why Is It So Damn Persistent?

Of course, there’s never just one reason for these things, but there are a few theories being bandied about that are worth unpacking:

Theory 1 - Contextual Ignorance, or ‘The Drag Race Effect’

While the term fishy spread through different drag and ballroom communities over the years, it didn’t really hit the mainstream until that reality TV juggernaut, RuPaul’s Drag Race, first graced our screens.

In the earlier seasons of the show, the term was thrown about willy-nilly, used in compliments, self-proclamations and sly digs.

And though it was clear that the term was being used to describe hyper-feminine queens, it was presented completely divorced from the history and context behind it. So, as a result, many people integrated the term into their vocabulary without even questioning it.

A few factors support this theory:

• The show’s audience skews young, and for many, it’s their first exposure to drag and camp and all the exaggerated queerness that comes with it.

• On top of that, it has a huge international following, and not everyone is familiar with all the subtleties and outright weirdness of the English language (or they come from a culture where misogyny shows up in different ways - in Turkey, for instance, a cis woman’s vagina is said to smell like sour milk.)

With the show’s ongoing popularity and Drag Race’s cultural dominance, the term has stuck. Stubbornly.

Verdict: This is an interesting theory, and I get how someone might not stop to think about the etymology of a word. But at this point, I feel like we’ve had enough discussions and raised enough awareness that there’s no excuse for not understanding the harm anymore.

Theory 2 - Intent vs Interpretation

Many drag queens argue that when they say fishy, they don’t mean to insult women. In fact, for many, drag is a love letter to women and femininity, not a mockery.

From this perspective, calling a queen fishy is meant as a compliment—a celebration of feminine beauty, not an attack on female biology. The misogyny some people perceive, they claim, is not the intent behind the language.

Verdict: I find this argument interesting, especially when you consider that some people view the art of drag itself as misogynistic. But, who gets to decide whether something is offensive or not? Those who are the subject of the offence, or those that are doing the offending? Can a drag queen legitimately tell a cis woman not to be offended?

Theory 3 - Drag Is Meant To Be Subversive

Another line of defense is that fishy is part of drag’s subcultural language, something outsiders have no business policing.

Drag is supposed to be edgy, impolite, and uncomfortable. It’s meant to challenge gender and the roles we perform every day. Transgressive language is just baked into drag’s DNA.

And there are some who argue that drag’s over-the-top femininity (including terms like fishy) is a critique of society - taking aim at consumerism, gender expectations, and performativity - not a way to belittle women’s reality.

Verdict - I’m going to pass on this one. You can still be subversive without belittling an already marginalised group of people.

Theory 4 - The Term Has Been Reclaimed In A Playful, Positive Way

This argument relies on the idea that language can evolve: the drag community took a slur and flipped it into praise, neutralising its sting.

Sure, everyone understands that fishy is problematic, but if no actual woman is present or targeted, and everyone involved understands the campy intent, is it truly harmful?

Besides, we’ve all moved on, right?

RIGHT?

Verdict: Look, I’m all for reclamation and the playful twists language can take. But I don’t think one community can decide on behalf of another that a word, which offends that community, is suddenly up for the taking.

So, Where Does That Leave Us?

Ok, so on to the good news: usage of the term has definitely declined in the last decade, and even though it seems to be taking its sweet time to be stamped out entirely, people are taking on board the message and finding alternative words to us.

That said, I think the term's persistence comes down to two main things.

First, there's the flattened out way that language evolution works in the digital age. Words now spread faster than their stories, and mainstream platforms often amplify subcultural terms without taking the care to unpack or explain their history.

But there's also the intent issue. Many people believe that because fishy is mostly used as a compliment and not a slur, it can't be offensive. But in taking that stance, they’re ignoring the voices of cis women - the very people who are best placed to say whether or not the term is harmful.

But, What Do You Think?

Why do some terms stick around for ages while others disappear overnight? What’s behind it all? Is it simply how we use them, or is there something deeper at play?

Answer the poll below and let me know your thoughts!