👂️ Which Ear Is the Gay One? 👂️

QUEER WORD
LEFT IS RIGHT, RIGHT IS WRONG

What It Means:

A homophobic phrase from the late-1980s and 1990s dictating which ear a man could pierce without being read as gay.

Left ear = heterosexual (which is, of course, 'right')

Right ear = homosexual (which is, unsurprisingly, 'wrong')

Let’s Use It In A Sentence:

At the piercing salon, Herman pondered the phrase left is right, right is wrong and wondered what his bisexual ass was supposed to do.

How A Simple Piercing Could Cause So Much Panic

I’m fairly terrible when it comes to arbitrary social rules. I can never remember which finger gets the wedding ring (or even which hand it is, for that matter), which spoon is for soup (the one closest to the plate?), or exactly why it's rude to put your elbows on the table when there's literally nowhere else to put them.

And I suspect I’m not the only one who struggles with remembering these social customs. Which is the theory I’m touting to help explain why the schoolyard chant left is right, right is wrong has largely disappeared over the last few decades.

Sure, you could argue that it’s due to a softening of attitudes and a general decrease in homophobia. But, to that I say - never underestimate the fragile ego of the heterosexual cisgender man!

Of course, I’m also open to the idea that the rule was never anything more than an exaggerated schoolyard myth. An urban legend that somehow lodged itself in the collective consciousness of boys and men (queer or otherwise) desperate to broadcast the ‘correct’ sexuality to the outside world. 

But we’ll get in to that a bit more later.

For now, let's explore the history of male ear piercings and see what we can uncover.

Pierced Ears Through The Ages

Male ear piercings weren't new in the '80s and '90s when this phrase first sprung up - but they were having a bit of a moment after being out of vogue for decades. Men have been piercing their ears across cultures for millennia, and, funnily enough, people have been attaching arbitrary rules and layered meanings to them for just as long.

Some of the more interesting historical examples include:

• Ancient China: Left ear piercings signified that the wearer's life had once been endangered. The earring supposedly served as protection to prevent it happening again.

• Cossacks: This self-governing southern Russian population used earrings to mark those who were family providers. A right ear piercing meant a man should be spared from dangerous labour when possible, since he was responsible for others and had mouths to feed.

• Northern Medieval Italy: Piercings marked servitude. Both male and female slaves wore ear piercings (female slaves could also have double or nose piercings) to signal that they were not free.

  

• Pirates: We can't discuss earrings without mentioning these seafaring men. There are countless depictions of pirates wearing earrings, but no one's exactly certain why. Some theorise they were badges of honour for having crossed dangerous waters like the Cape of Good Hope, others subscribe to the myth that gold earrings were a good luck charm that prevented drowning. Perhaps the most common theory (and the one that makes most sense to my brain) is that the precious metal would pay for a proper burial if bodies washed up on foreign shores.

(Side note: in doing this research i discovered that nipple piercings were trendy in the Victorian era? Can you imagine Queen Victoria sporting secret nipple jewellery?)

Ok, we’re getting off track.

By the mid-20th century, male ear piercings had largely disappeared, but punk revived them in the '70s, spreading to other subcultures throughout the '80s.

Which brings us to the problem. The '80s were largely a hostile time for queer people. After the relatively liberal '70s, attitudes were hardening, the AIDS crisis was emboldening bigots, and straight men became paranoid about being read as too feminine, too soft, too…. well, gay.

And, so, the theory goes that when they heard the rumour that gay men had started to pierce their right ears as a secret way of signalling their sexuality to each other, panic ensued.

Cue the frantic earring removals and the birth of a mnemonic device to help boys stay on the ‘straight-and-narrow’...

But Was It Ever Real?

There are plenty of people who dispute whether this was ever even a thing. Or, perhaps more accurately, they argue that if it was a thing, it likely originated with a small in-group of gay men in a single urban hub — somewhere like San Francisco or New York — and never truly functioned as the widespread queer signal we were led to believe. It’s often likened to the hanky code or the gay handshake - things everyone seems to have heard about, but no one actually remembers using.

And, here’s my theory on the whole thing. while the rumour likely floated around through the ’80s, it wasn’t until the New York Times published an article in 1991 titled ‘Piercing Fad Is Turning Convention On Its Ear’ that someone really poured gasoline on the myth. This seems to be the first time the rumour was acknowledged by mainstream media, and my theory is that that one piece sparked the imaginations of school-aged boys worldwide, who then raced to playgrounds to make damn sure everyone knew which ear was the ‘wrong’ one (and, of course, to ostracise anyone who got it backwards).

(Whilst we’re here, can we pause to marvel at the way in which schoolyard rumours went viral before ‘viral’ was even a thing?)

And Where Are We Now?

Whether it was real or not, the phrase still lingers in the memories of those who were needlessly tormented by it, but otherwise it’s mercifully died out.

These days, people embrace piercing trends like industrial bars, constellation piercings, and stretched lobes because they like how they look — not because they’re trying to broadcast a secret identity (or if they are, I’m apparently too uncool to know about it.)

But what about you?

Did you grow up hearing left is right, right is wrong?

Did it affect how (or whether) you got pierced? Do you think any of these ‘secret signals’ were ever really used by queers, or were they always a fabrication designed to feed straight panic?

Answer the poll below or hit reply and let me know!

I’m all ears. (Ok, ok, lame joke. Sorry. Couldn't resist.)