✍️ what's in a (chosen) name? ✍️

QUEER WORD
CHOSEN NAME

What It Means:

The name that someone decides to use for themselves instead of (or alongside) the one they were given at birth. It’s most commonly used by trans and nonbinary people, but anyone can choose a name that fits them better.

Let’s Use It In A Sentence:

My great-aunt Francis got very sniffy about my chosen name, muttering that ‘people didn’t do this in my day.’ Which is odd, because her three favourite singers are David Bowie, Elton John, and Freddie Mercury, all of whom picked their own names and did just fine.

A little bit of history:

If you’ve ever had the responsibility of naming a pet, or a child, or a houseplant you’re determined not to kill this time, then you’ll know already that the decision can come with a lot of anxiety and second-guessing.

So imagine how bloody difficult it is to come up with a name for yourself? Do you go with something timeless and safe, like James or Rebecca, or do you go with something sleek and mysterious, like Raven or Phoenix? Or do you go with something modern-sounding, like Kai or Luna, even though you know full well that it’ll age in no time and you’ll be viewed as an antique object by generations of the future?

Oh, it’s too much pressure!

That’s why I’ll forever admire anyone who can pick a name and stick to it. 

And one of the final steps you take to confirm your new chosen name?

Well, if you’re in the UK, that’s completing a deed poll, a simple legal declaration that turns a chosen name into your official one.

(Ok, that's not quite true. After that comes the excruciating process of updating your details with what feels like every organisation and municipal council you’ve ever interacted with, but let’s gloss over that for today.)

The reason that I’m mentioning all of this is because I’ve recently found some statistics shared by the UK Deed Poll Office that reveal some fascinating tidbits about how trans people in the UK are choosing their names.

Tidbit 1: Most People Don’t Keep The Same First Letter As Their Given Name

This is the one that surprised me the most, and I feel a little lied-to by Hollywood, where it’s not uncommon to see trans people just adopt the masculine or feminine version of their given name.

Think of Transparent, where the main character Maura is introduced as having once gone by Mort. Or 9-1-1: Lone Star, where Paul used to be Paige. Or Theo in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, who was once Theodora.

It’s tidy, it’s neat. It makes narrative sense.

But, actually, it’s nowhere near as common as we were led to believe.

In reality, 69.72% of people opted for a chosen name that had a different first letter to their given name.

Most people aren't looking for proximity to their old name. They're looking for something brand new.

Tidbit 2: Middle Names

More decisions? Oh no! I hadn’t even considered middle names up until now!

For many people, middle names hold almost more significance than first names, often given by parents as a way of honouring (or appeasing) grandparents or other relatives; a means of carrying on family tradition by preserving the name of a long-dead person no one has actually met.

Only 10.21% of those records analysed kept their given middle name. And, the vast majority - 80.81% of people - chose to change, add to, or remove their given name [a further 8.92% didn’t have a middle name in the first place!].

Which makes sense when you think about it. If you're already going through the process of changing your name, why carry the weight of someone else's family tribute? Why not choose something that actually means something to you?

Tidbit 3: The Most Common Age At Which People Change Their Name

Actually, I might have to take back what I said before, because THIS might be the fact that most surprises me.

If you had asked me to guess the most common age to change your name I’d have gone for an age where someone is fairly established, coming out of their experimental early-20s phase and settling into who they are. So, somewhere like late 20s / early 30s.

But, I’d be dead wrong, because it’s actually….

18.

Yup, that young.

Which, I guess, on reflection, makes the most sense. Besides having far more energy at that age (!), you’ve also had the preceding years of knowing who you are, but not being legally allowed to change your name. And all that pent up frustration probably helps to fuel your motivation and drive to finally do it the minute that you’re able to without parental consent.

Tidbit 4: Most Common Names Chosen

Ok, time to dig into the juicy stuff. Once you move beyond all of the paperwork and the admin, what are people actually calling themselves?

Most Common Names for Trans Men:

Noah, Alex, Charlie, Elliot, Daniel, Tyler, Jay, Luke, Lucas, Logan, Kai, Jayden, James, Jack

Most Common Names for Trans Women:

Jessica, Emily, Charlotte, Alice, Willow, Luna, Lucy, Freya, Ellie, Alex, Sarah, Riley, Olivia, Lily, Jennifer

A few observations: 

• I love love love that the name ‘Alex’ appears on both lists. Short, gender-neutral, timeless. 

• On the transmasc side, people seem to have gravitated towards solid, dependable names

• Whereas on the transfemme side, there’s a real split between those classic names like Jessica and Sarah, and the more nature-inspired romantic names like Willow and Luna.

[Also worth remembering that these are UK stats, so they skew toward names popular in Britain. I'd love to compare it with equivalent lists from other countries.]

On Choosing Yourself

Of course, these stats only represent a small number of people in one country, but I still find it fascinating to think of all the journeys and deliberation these people went through to get to their chosen names.

And I know that I may have come across as slightly flippant before when I said choosing your own name is one of the hardest decisions ever, but I was being deadly serious.

It takes courage. It takes clarity. And it takes a willingness to choose yourself over the expectations of everyone who named you in the first place. And I think that anyone who can do it is bloody brilliant.

Seeking impartial news? Meet 1440.

Every day, 3.5 million readers turn to 1440 for their factual news. We sift through 100+ sources to bring you a complete summary of politics, global events, business, and culture, all in a brief 5-minute email. Enjoy an impartial news experience.

Join for free today!