➡️ Uncovering The Meaning Of 'Allosexual'...

QUEER WORD
Allosexual

What it means: a term used to describe someone who experiences sexual attraction (as opposed to asexual individuals who experience little or no sexual attraction).

Let’s use it in a sentence: Being asexual in an allosexual world is a bit like being a vegan at a BBQ— you find yourself constantly explaining to increasingly confused faces why you’re perfectly fine with just the salad.

A little bit of history: Do you remember how more conservative parts of the internet were up in arms when they discovered the word 'cis'?

They got all hoighty at the thought of being called cisgender, and some even likened it to a slur.

If this isn’t ringing any bells, don’t worry — let's take a quick look at some of the less balanced responses (and, I guess I should include a trigger warning here):

What these people failed to acknowledge when scampering to their misguided moral high ground is that ‘cis’ was never intended as an insult.

It was created to update our language - providing a neutral term for people who aren’t transgender, and challenging the assumption that being cisgender is the default or ‘normal,’ which often marginalises trans identities.

And, that's precisely the same reasoning that sits behind this week's queer word: Allosexual.

For a long time, it’s been assumed that all humans experience sexual desire, and that anyone who doesn’t is somehow 'not normal.'

[side note - I'll spare you from one of my rants about how much I despise the word 'normal,' but just know I think it’s a wildly subjective term.]

And, so, in order to offer some balance the term allosexual was coined to describe people who experience sexual attraction, providing a linguistic counterpart to the term asexual.

But what does it mean?

I’m glad you asked.

The prefix ‘allo-’ comes from the Greek word meaning ‘other’ or ‘different,’ and it’s used here to define people whose experiences with sexual attraction differ from those who identify as asexual.

Here, though, is where things get a little confusing—some argue that 'allosexual' is actually the opposite of 'autosexual' (sexual attraction to oneself), meaning the term might be getting misused (isn’t language and its application both messy and wonderful?).

And why does it even matter?

Disagreements about its usage aside, the creation of the term allosexual is important because it brings balance to conversations about sexuality.

Just as the introduction of ‘cis’ helped counter the assumption that only transgender people needed a specific label, allosexual challenges the default assumption that everyone experiences sexual attraction.

By having a term for those who do experience sexual attraction we avoid framing asexuality as an ‘absence’ or deviation, instead recognising it as one valid part of a broader spectrum of experiences.

By naming both ends of the spectrum, we create space for a more inclusive and nuanced understanding of human sexuality.

That is, if we can ever reach a consensus!

QUEER JOY
News from around the web...

📖 Long live LGBTQ+ book clubs! A wonderful feature about the value these groups bring to people’s lives…

🇹🇭 Thailand legalises equal marriage as the King signs bill into law

⏳ Apparently, 2004 was a particularly gay year. What do you think? Do you agree?

PODCAST
This week’s episode of Lost Spaces

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View more on Instagram

Matte Namer (from the band The FMs) joined me to talk about identities, understanding ourselves, and what it is like to live a full-time kinky lifestyle.

What I loved about this conversation was Matte’s views on the queer umbrella. It certainly left me with a fresh perspective (as well as a few questions I’m still working through!).