The Great Ally Backpedal of 2025

QUEER WORD
PERFORMATIVE ALLYSHIP

What it means:

when someone publicly supports a marginalised group to appear progressive or socially aware, but their actions are shallow, inconsistent, or just self-serving. These so-called allies disappear when support becomes inconvenient or no longer benefits them.

Let’s use it in a sentence:

‘If allyship happens in the forest and no one is around to see it, does it even count as allyship?’, Alison asked whilst live-streaming to her followers - because what’s the point of performative allyship if no one’s there to praise you for it?

A little bit of history:

There seems to have been no shortage of performative allyship going around this week.

First up, California’s Democrat Governor Gavin Newsom.

Gavin has just launched a new podcast, and in the very first episode - featuring Turning Point USA co-founder and mega-MAGA-man Charlie Kirk - he dropped a bombshell: he no longer supports trans women in sports.

‘I think it’s an issue of fairness, I completely agree with you on that,’ Newsom said. ‘It is an issue of fairness - it’s deeply unfair.’

(And, in case you’re wondering, he seemingly had no views about trans men in sports, as is typical in this particular culture war).

The most painful part of all of this?

Up until now, Newsom had been a vocal LGBTQ+ ally - signing protections for queer youth into law, criticising drag bans, and even calling out Florida Governor Ron DeSantis for ‘demeaning’ the community.

Meanwhile, across the pond, a UK fitness influencer named Natalee Barnett has backtracked on her promise to make her new women-only gym trans-inclusive.

Which is bad enough in itself, but she happens to have made this announcement after raising money for the gym on a crowdfunding platform based on that very claim.

Back in 2021, when launching the fundraiser, she tweeted:

A pretty unambiguous statement, right? Surely that means she’s a real ally.

Nope. This week, Natalee did a complete 180, stating in a video:

So, just to recap: She used the promise of trans inclusion to raise money, then threw the trans community under the bus once the funds were secured.

On top of that, she seems to be implying that cisgender women face harassment and abuse from trans women.

If I were feeling generous, I might chalk these about-faces up to ally fatigue - the idea that people who once supported our community feel worn down by external pressures.

But I don’t think this is fatigue.

This is an attack.

When things are (relatively) easy, these so-called allies are happy to show up, wave a Pride flag, and bask in the glow of being on the ‘right side of history.’

But when the conversation gets harder, they’re nowhere to be seen, scurrying away to hop onto a bandwagon of right-wing rage and propaganda.

Which brings us to this week’s Queer Word - performative allyship.

Let’s break it down word by word.

🔹 Ally: First appearing in the 1800s, ‘ally’ comes from the Latin alligare, meaning ‘to bind to.’ Dictionary.com defines it as ‘the state of being associated with another or others for a common purpose.’ Today, it’s commonly used to describe someone who supports a marginalised group they’re not part of.

🔹 Allyship: This is the ongoing practice of standing in solidarity with a community through meaningful actions - not just words or symbolism.

🔹 Performative: Stemming from the word ‘perform,’ this refers to actions done for show rather than genuine commitment. Something is performative when it’s more about appearances than substance.

Put them all together and you get performative allyship, a term used to describe someone who publicly supports a marginalised group to appear progressive or socially aware, but whose actions are shallow, inconsistent, or ultimately self-serving.

The term originated in internet circles in the 2010s, but gained widespread attention in 2020 following the murder of George Floyd.

Remember the Instagram blackout campaign, Blackout Tuesday? While well-intentioned, it quickly became an example of performative allyship when users flooded social media with black squares while doing little to support the actual Black Lives Matter movement. It was a way for people to signal their support without actually taking any real action.

What does all of this mean for the future?

Part of me kind of appreciates when moments like this happen - at least now we know where they truly stand.

Another clout-chasing politician. Another influencer trading integrity for engagement.

But it also leaves that nagging question: if they’ve been faking it all this time, who else is?

And without sounding totally doom-and-gloom, I suspect we’ll see more of these stories in the coming years as a new status quo seeps in.

So, what do we do?

Well, firstly, I think there are two distinct issues with this week’s buffoonery: trans women in sports and performative allyship. And there are a few things that we can do.

1️⃣ Educate ourselves. Be ready to counter the lazy, bad-faith arguments about trans athletes with actual facts. (I’d recommend starting with this handy resource from the Human Rights Campaign).

2️⃣ Support trans-led organisations. Instead of wasting energy on fair-weather allies who flip-flop, direct your support to grassroots trans-led groups doing the real work. Just Google your city + ‘trans organisation’ to find ones near you. Then donate, amplify their voices, and engage with their initiatives.

3️⃣ Show appreciation for real allies. Sure, it might be seen as a little preemptive manipulation, but reach out to politicians, community leaders, and public figures who have stood up for LGBTQ+ rights and let them know you appreciate it. The more they hear that support matters, the less likely they are to cave when the pressure mounts.

Because, ultimately, we don’t just need allies when it’s easy. We need them when it’s hard.

What do you think?

Do these moments come down to pressure, ignorance, or something more calculated? Vote below and let me know your thoughts.

QUEER JOY
News to make you smile...

🐒 New research finds that chimpanzees are gayer than we thought!

🎉 Speaking of ally-ship - a straight man wearing a sequin hat is going viral for supporting his gay friend at Mardi Gras

👭🏿 There’s a new lesbian dating show coming to YouTube, and it looks deliciously messy!

🇯🇵 Is marriage equality on the horizon for Japan? A court has recently found that the country’s refusal to recognise same-sex marriage is unconstitutional.

⚧️ A look at some of the items on display at the Museum of Transology’s TRANCESTRY exhibition

QUEER THOUGHTS
Last week’s poll

Last week, I asked if I should introduce a Queer Rage section, and the results are in!

It seems like many of you want a balance—rage to push us forward, but also joy to keep us going.

Here are some of the thoughts you shared:

📢 B: Rage is how we channel our anger so that we can experience our joy. Please, bring rage on!

💜 C: If you're including the rage portion, can you give us resources / ideas / on how to specificity act as well? different organisations to support each newsletter, for example? I can't just be left angry and hanging 😅

🔥 U: Trans Americans like myself are facing genocide from a mad dictator - there is no joy.

⚖️ J: We need both. Every time we rest, they push back.

So, I’m going to trial a Queer Rage section, in the hopes we can collectively channel our anger to take action.

In fact, the first Queer Rage is just below this section 👇️ 

Let me know what you think.

QUEER RAGE
News to make you go ‘grrrr’...

🚽 A cisgender woman in Arizona was confronted by male police officers in the women’s restroom, who accused her of being a man

🚸 LGBTQ+ youth feel safer online than in-person - and it’s not even close

📰 To the surprise of absolutely no-one, Fox News have been working overtime to amplify Donald Trump’s anti-trans rhetoric, a study from Media Matters reports

🏥 Hospitals in the US have been called out for stopping gender-affirming care within days of Trump’s executive order, whilst continuing to undertake non-consensual intersex surgeries on newborns