QUEER WORD
OKOGE (おこげ)

What it means:

Okoge (おこげ) is the Japanese word for the crispy, burnt rice that sticks to the bottom of the pot.

But in queer slang, it has a second meaning: a woman (usually straight) who spends a lot of time with gay men - the Japanese equivalent of what some English speakers might call a ‘fag hag’ (though, as always, context and connotation matter, so don’t go throwing the term around willy-nilly).

Let's Use It In A Sentence:

While scraping the okoge from the bottom of the rice pot, Yuki suddenly wondered how her gay friends described her when she wasn’t around…

Where does okoge come from?

It might sound like a wild leap — from burnt rice to fabulous socialite surrounded by a gaggle of gays — but it starts to make more sense when you understand the word okama (おかま).

Okama also has a double meaning: literally, it’s used to describe a rice pot. Figuratively, it is slang for an effeminate gay man.

In contemporary Japan, it's often seen as a slur, though some use it in a reclaimed or tongue-in-cheek way (much like the word ‘queer’ in the English language). It doesn’t translate perfectly into English and comes with plenty of nuance around gender expression and queerness in Japanese culture.

As for the origins of okama? Some say it’s because the shape of the rice pot resembles a man’s bum. Others link it to the Edo-period term kagema (陰間), which referred to apprentice Kabuki actors who sometimes engaged in sex work with male patrons. In both theories, it’s clear that pots and queerness have a long association.

So how does that lead us to okoge?

Well, if okama is the rice pot (or, you know, the gay man), then what sticks to the pot?

Burnt rice.

Or, in slang terms - the woman who sticks to gay men.

Voilà: okoge.

It’s a word that says a lot about social dynamics, gender, and even a little bit of affectionate teasing. Yes it might sound vaguely misogynistic (or outright misogynistic!), but it’s often used lovingly, especially within queer communities that love language as much as they love each other.

FAQ: Okoge and Japanese Gay Slang

Is okoge offensive?

It depends on the context. Like many terms tied to identity and subculture, okoge can be used playfully and affectionately within queer communities — especially by people in the know. But it can also be considered dismissive or pejorative if used by outsiders or in a mocking tone. If you're unsure, it's best to use the term with care or ask how someone identifies.

What’s the difference between okoge and “fag hag”?

While both describe women who spend time with gay men, they come from different cultural contexts. “Fag hag” is an English-language term often used in Western queer spaces (though it too can be controversial), whereas okoge has roots in Japanese language and gay subculture. Both carry connotations of affection and stereotype — and both are increasingly seen as dated or problematic by younger queer people.

Do people still use the term okoge in Japan today?

The use of okoge has declined somewhat, especially among younger generations, but it’s still known in LGBTQ+ circles. Japanese queer slang, like slang in many cultures, is constantly evolving, with newer terms and identities offering more nuance and inclusivity.

What’s the deal with okama and rice pots?

Okama means “rice pot” — but it’s also slang for an effeminate gay man. The leap in meaning is partly visual (some say the pot resembles a bum — yes, really) and partly cultural, with links to Edo-period performance and queerness. If okama is the pot, then okoge is the crispy rice stuck to it. Metaphor complete.

Can women call themselves okoge?

Some women do, especially if they identify with queer culture and have close ties to gay men. But, like any label, it’s personal. For some, it’s a fun, tongue-in-cheek way of describing their friend group. For others, it might feel outdated or uncomfortable. If you’re going to use it, do it with awareness of how it might land.