QUEER WORD
KIKI

What it means:

A kiki is a casual gathering of friends (most often queer, most often shady) for the purpose of gossip, laughter, storytelling, and sometimes a bit of light scheming. Think: tea is spilled, secrets are whispered, and someone always gasps a little too dramatically.

It originated in Black and Latinx drag ball culture in North America, later gaining mainstream popularity thanks to tracks like Scissor Sisters’ ‘Let’s Have a Kiki.’

Let's Use It In A Sentence:

Those shady wenches were huddled in the corner of the room, engaged in a lively kiki, their hushed voices and conspiratorial giggles filling the air as they traded the juiciest rumours about their friend group.

QUEER WORD
KAI-KAI

What it means:

A kai-kai refers to sexual activity between two drag performers - yes, even in full wig and lashes (though said lashes may not survive the tryst).

Also rooted in drag and ballroom culture, kai-kai walks that delicious line between queerness, performance, and desire. Where kiki is about community and gossip, kai-kai is about attraction - and getting right down to action.

Let's Use It In A Sentence:

With wigs askew and false eyelashes stuck to their cheeks, it was pretty obvious to everyone in the club that Glamazon Sparkles and Foxy McDeluxe had been kai-kai-ing backstage.

A Wee Bit of History

These two very similar-sounding words - kiki and kai-kai - both come from the vibrant drag and ballroom scenes of North America, particularly within Black and Latinx LGBTQ+ communities.

They sound alike, yes.

But the vibe? Entirely different.

Think of it like this:

• A kiki is PG-13.

• A kai-kai is definitely not.

It is believed that kiki comes from slang used in queer Black circles as early as the 1930s, eventually finding its place in drag culture as a term for lighthearted get-togethers where queer folks could relax, talk trash, and bond (with an emphasis on the gossiping).

Kai-kai, on the other hand, came later, rising in visibility alongside the increasing mainstreaming of drag. While drag performers have always had complex (and often hilarious) relationships with desire and persona, kai-kai gave a name to one of the most taboo (and titillating) aspects of drag community lore: queens getting down with other queens.

So What’s the Difference Between a Kiki and a Kai-Kai?

If you’re still having trouble keeping up, let’s break it down nice and easy:

Final Thoughts

While it’s certainly possible to both kiki and kai-kai with your good Judy, it’s probably best to be aware of the difference before accepting an invitation - unless you’re ready for more than a mimosa and a gossip sesh.