is a rise of the 'ex-gay' upon us?

QUEER WORD
EX-GAY

What it means:

Someone who previously identified as LGBTQ+ but now claims to be heterosexual and/or cisgender, often attributing this change to religious conversion, therapy, or personal revelation.

Let’s use it in a sentence:

Jonathan described himself as ex-gay, but his Google search history suggested otherwise.

A little bit of history:

I don't believe that you can 'pray the gay' away.

I don't believe that there are any pills, potions, or magic incantations that can suddenly reverse your sexuality or gender identity.

I believe that these things are innate, immovable, and undeniable.

But there are people out there that believe the opposite of this.

And, I'm not talking about those cishet religious zealots who really have no place wading in to the conversation.

I'm talking about ex-gays - people who once identified as LGBTQ+, but have since changed their orientation or gender identity.

I find the testimony and lived experience of these people far harder to dismiss.

But, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself.

Why am I so worried about we’re about to see the rise of the ex-gay? To answer that, let’s back up a scooch and take a look at the history of the movement.

History of the movement

The ex-gay movement started in the 1970s, fuelled by a mix of religious fundamentalism and psychological theories that framed homosexuality as a disorder, as well as broader societal pressure to conform to heteronormativity.

One of the earliest and most well-known ex-gay organisations was Exodus International, founded in 1976, which promoted the idea that same-sex attraction could be ‘overcome’ through a healthy dose of prayer and therapy.

Throughout the ’80s and ’90s, the movement gained traction, particularly in evangelical Christian circles, leading to the rise and normalisation of conversion therapy programmes which were promoted by high-profile ‘success stories’ of people who claimed to have left their LGBTQ+ identity behind (side note: have you ever seen the TV show 'My Husband's Not Gay'? It's about Mormon men who have done just that - left their LGBTQ+ identity behind - and it’s WILD).

However, by the 2000s, cracks began to show. Studies debunked the effectiveness of conversion therapy, survivors spoke out about the trauma they endured, and many former leaders of ex-gay organisations—including some of Exodus International’s founders—renounced their past work.

And, for a while there, it felt as though all you needed to do was point towards the overwhelming evidence against conversation therapy to win any argument about its supposed merits. Evidence such as:

• No robust evidence - According to research commissioned by the UK government, no robust evidence supports claims that conversion therapy effectively changes sexual orientation or gender identity.

• Psychological harm - A meta-analysis of 28 studies found that LGBTQ+ individuals who underwent conversion therapy were more likely to experience serious psychological distress (47% vs 34%) and depression (65% vs 27%) compared to those who didn't.

• Increase suicide risk - The same meta-analysis showed higher rates of illicit drug use (67% vs 50%) and suicide attempts (58% vs 39%) among those who underwent conversion therapy.

But, alas, no. In our post-truth world the facts don't really seem to count for all that much.

So What Comes Next?

Truthfully, the ex-gay group movement never really went away, it just rebranded to less-emotive, vaguer sounding names like 'sexual orientation change efforts' (SOCE) or 'reparative therapy.'

Up until now, the movement has largely been marginalised - so much so that Amazon refuses to stock books promoting conversion therapy and Meta (owner of Facebook and Instagram, amongst others) blocks related content (though, let's be honest, who knows how long that will last?).

But now, with the U.S. Supreme Court being asked to reconsider the ban on conversion therapy for LGBTQ+ youth, and, well, with the way things are heading in the U.S., could we be about to see a resurgence in conversion therapy? And, with it, greater visibility and acceptance of the ex-gay movement?

Pastor Daren Mehl, president of the ex-gay organisation Voice of the Voiceless, certainly seems to think so.

In an opinion piece published by The Christian Post in February, he claimed that 'Despite President Donald Trump's latest great moves… LGBT activists still maintain their grip on the cultural discourse'. He insists that it's time ex-gays are shown the same respect the LGBTQ+ community asks for.

Wrestling with the Narrative

Which brings us back to my original point.

I find it super easy to dismiss the views of straight, cisgender religious leaders and hustlers who peddle the notion that sexuality or gender can be changed if you pray hard enough (especially when you're also providing a nice donation).

But, I find it far harder to dismiss the views of someone who says that, yes, actually, they have changed.

I mean, I've seen the evidence.

I know that it doesn't work.

Worse, I know that it does active harm.

But, if someone were to turn around and say to me 'oh, actually, it worked for me', how can I deny them that? How can I tell them that they're wrong?

Just as I would want someone to believe me when I tell them who I am, should I not extend the same grace? Even though I know that countless ex-gays' stories were fabricated, endangering vulnerable LGBTQ+ individuals who were pressured or coerced into believing that they could - or should - change who they are?

So here's where I land: follow the science.

The truth is, personal stories can be powerful, but they cannot – and should not – outweigh scientific evidence and the collective trauma of a community. When individual narratives become weapons that potentially harm vulnerable people, we have a responsibility to center the overwhelming data that proves conversion therapy is not just ineffective, but actively destructive.

I was hoping I could end this article in a neat bow, with a satisfying conclusion that clearly sets out that ex-gays won't be make a comeback anytime soon. But, honestly, I'm not sure.

So, instead, I want to know: Where do you stand on this complex issue? Should people who identify as ex-gay be given the same platform as LGBTQ+ voices? Am I being far too lenient?

QUEER JOY
News from around the web...

🏳️‍⚧️ People are mobilising, with protests happening around the USA in support of trans rights. From Maine to Dallas to Portland, the message is clear - ‘we won’t back down’.

🏳️‍🌈 More protests to warm your heart - thousands come out to protest the proposed ban on Pride in Hungary

🏙️ Boston declares itself a pro-trans sanctuary city and says it won't comply with anti-LGBTQ+ federal

🧳 Finally! Travel guide publisher Lonely Planet has just published its first travel guide dedicated to LGBTQ+ travel

QUEER THOUGHTS
Last week’s poll

I am pleased to see that you’re (mostly) as curmudgeonly as me!

Last week, when exploring the concept of mother, mothering and motherquakes, I asked whether you’d used the term mother in its new internet-lingo sense, and here are the results:

Comments included:

J: Girl, please!

B: As a long-time Tarot reader, I see Mother and other traditionally gendered roles/titles as indicating someone’s attitudes and behaviours rather than genitalia.

S: I love Streisand and Midler but would NEVER refer to them as Mother. I’m not using it.

U: I was one of the founders of the TransyHouse. Sylvia Rivera lived with us. EVERYONE called her Ma.

QUEER RAGE
News to make your toes curl...

🏳️‍⚧️ The US military plans to investigate GIs for ‘symptoms’ of being trans. Huh?

⚕️ Cuts to foreign aid by the US, UK, France, Germany and the Netherlands could lead to 10 million new cases of HIV by 2030 

❌ Trump administration cuts grants to at least 68 organisations providing support to LGBTQ+ people

💒 After anti-trans success, here’s how the Right is plotting to undermine marriage equality.

🍽️ Restaurant owners in Mississippi offer a ‘straight couple’ discount. Yuck.