🏳️‍🌈 How 'Misgendering' Affects Us All...

QUEER WORD
MISGENDERING

What it means:

the act of referring to someone using words or pronouns that do not align with their gender identity.

This can happen intentionally or unintentionally, and while it often happens to trans or non-binary people, it can affect anyone whose gender expression does not match neatly to societal norms. Misgendering can cause emotional harm, making the person feel disrespected or invalidated in their identity.

Let’s use it in a sentence:

‘Thanks for the help, sir,’ Jake said, tipping his hat to the woman who had just intentionally misgendered him.

A little bit of history:

Remember when the whole trans-panic-nonsense-culture-war was in its infancy, and activists kept warning us that the whole spectacle wasn’t just about trans people? How it might seem like they were the sole targets of the attacks - but really, they were just the tip of the iceberg?

And how, once the tide of public opinion had successfully been turned against a-group-of-people-who-were-simply-trying-to-get-on-with-their-lives, it was only a matter of time before the rest of us felt the unwanted attention of religious zealots and genitalia police?

Well, that time is well and truly here.

Exhibit A: The Liberty Hotel Incident

Last weekend, a cisgender woman, Ansley Baker, was kicked out of the women’s toilets by a security guard at the Liberty Hotel in Boston, Massachusetts, after being asked to ‘prove her gender’.

Of course, this is far from the first time something like this has happened, and it may not even be the most outrageous.

But what really stood out to me here is that, according to reports, bystanders… did nothing. No one stepped in. No one defended the woman. No one spoke up.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. According to Ansley some people muttered approval of the security guard’s actions, with one apparently saying ‘get him out of here… he’s a creep’.

And to add a whole other layer of ‘urgh’ to proceedings, after finding out about the incident hotel management, rather than issue an apology and try to make things right, chose to blame the victim and her partner.

Here’s their statement:

It wasn’t until the two women refuted the allegation that they were sharing a stall the hotel backtracked somewhat, stating that the security guard involved had been suspended and that all staff were being retrained on ‘inclusive practices and guest interaction protocols’. They then went on to say:

Why This Matters For All Of Us

I’m highlighting this specific case not as the most egregious case, or somehow more unjust than the countless other acts of misgendering and intimidation experienced by cis and trans people, but because it highlights the inroads these anti-trans campaigners are making. They are fuelling public entitlement to police and dehumanise others in their quest to stamp out… well, whoever they arbitrarily decide is the next target.

And it looks like it’s only going to get worse (sorry for being such a doom-monger, but we need to be open-eyed about this).

Exhibit B: The UK’s Confusing Legal Landscape

It feels especially confusing and convoluted here in the UK. As you may know, in April the Supreme Court deemed that the protected characteristic of ‘sex’ in the 2010 Equality Act refers only to ‘biological women’.

This means that, according to this new reading of the Act, even if they have a Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC) a trans person would be considered to be the gender they were assigned at birth.

Following this, the Equality and Human Rights Commission has issued interim guidance for public bodies, which states that ‘trans women (biological men) should not be permitted to use women’s facilities, and trans men (biological women) should not be permitted to use men’s facilities.’

But, it then goes on to say that in ‘some circumstances,’ trans women should also be banned from men’s facilities, and trans men from women’s toilets.

Which, in other words, is essentially pushing trans people out of society altogether.

And, once that’s happened… well, you already know the rest.

So, if you’ve been dilly-dallying, burying your head in the sand, hoping this whole thing will blow over, safe in the knowledge that it won’t affect you personally, let me remind you that the time is now.

They are not going to stop with misgendering and humiliation. They are not going to stop with trans people - they are coming for all of us.

Let’s stand up together. Let’s not be bystanders.