QUEER WORD
BLBITW

What it means:

An acronym that stands for ‘best little boy in the world,’ a term coined by Andrew Tobias (writing under the pseudonym John Reid) in his 1973 memoir. It quickly became shorthand to refer to young gay men who overachieve in every area of their lives - academics, charm, success, obedience - to compensate for their shame around being gay.

Let's Use It In A Sentence:

Bernard was so determined to be the blbitw that he lost sight of who he was, eventually spending fifteen years in therapy just to unlearn all the perfection he'd carefully concocted.

A Little Bit of History:

The term comes from The Best Little Boy in the World, a memoir that exploded onto the scene in the early 1970s and quickly became essential reading in the gay community. At a time when homosexuality was still pathologised and criminalised, the book provided one of the first mainstream narratives that chronicled the internalised pressure many closeted men felt.

The premise? If you couldn’t be ‘normal,’ the least you could do is be damn exceptional.

The author describes his attempts to become the perfect son, student, and employee in order to suppress and atone for his queerness. And this experience resonated and hit home for a generation of closeted gay men.

But Does It Still Hold Up in 2025?

Honestly, I expected the book to be wildly outdated and full of 1970s cringe.

And, in some ways, it was. Femme-phobic? Yes. Conflicted on whether queerness is nature or nurture? Also yes.

But, to my surprise, a lot of it still resonated.

Not because I believe we should all strive to be the blbitw. But because, even now, so many of us are still unpicking the damage that comes from needing to be perfect just to feel acceptable. That impulse - to overachieve, to hide, to perform ‘goodness’ instead of authenticity - is still with us. And it deserves to be acknowledged and unpacked.

Why It Still Matters:

The book is a fascinating snapshot of a pivotal time in queer history, having been first published in the years following the Stonewall Riots - widely considered the start of the modern gay rights movement.

But more than that, it helps explain a phenomenon that many gay men (and queer folks more broadly) still struggle with: the urge to outperform to compensate for shame.

Whether it’s a dated relic or a timeless psychological profile, The Best Little Boy in the World remains a reference point for anyone trying to make sense of the perfectionism that comes with being ‘other.’